The funniest / saddest job posting you will see

[George Zaleski]

Hi All I know this doesn't belong here but I found it some thing so funny I just knew I had to share it. I received this in my e-mail today from one of my old professors who gets hit up for jobseekers and forwards it to us. I have removed the company name to protect the ridiculous.

"we are on a very tight schedule with our current project.
> Unfortunately, we have put off the CG elements of the film until the very
> last minute, but perhaps a student would be interested in helping us out by
> doing these shots? We cannot pay at this point, but we promise copy and
> credit, and a potential for this to turn into a long series of projects with
> the possibility of pay a long way down the road. This is a terrific
> opportunity for anyone just starting out.
>
> By this Friday afternoon (5/30), we need the following:
>
> 1. We start from a shot of a character's hand with a blue-footed booby on
> it (we will provide the initial hand shot), and the camera pulls back very
> slowly away from the earth to reveal galaxies and the universe, all the
> while following the bird as he flies into infinity. This shot will last
> approx. 3 minutes.
>
> 2. We need a fake time-lapse sequence of this same bird hatching from an
> egg and growing into adulthood. Would prefer for the background/environment
> to look like time-lapse, so we'd need the lighting changes of days passing
> and seasons changing, over the course of a year. Keep in mind that his
> feathers will have to go from baby chick feathers to adult ones, through
> several molting stages. Perhaps growing and dying flowers in the
> foreground, to signify the time passing? I don't know if there will be time
> for that.
>
> 3. We need a shot of the Transformers fighting, but we will change their
> faces a bit. Similar style to the movie. Also refer to Narnia as a
> reference (the robot parts, not the animals).
>
>
> These shots will have to be photo-real in order to match the rest of our
> film, which is photographed with a film camera. I still don't know much
> about computers or animation, but I assume we need someone with a good
> familiarity with Photoshop, or maybe Flash or Shockwave Director.
>
> Thanks for your help, and if anyone has time to work on this, please
> have them email me!"

[Bentos]

Brilliant! I love how demanding these unpaid projects are; "..remember to get those feather changes in, and several malts, and we need it by 5:30 this Friday!"

WOOP!!

[bobuker1]

...and these are the kinds of postings we will continue to see until we collectively stop taking on volunteer "jobs", "internships", or any kind of unpaid projects advertised as only to benefit an artist's portfolio. No other industry other than creative digital media would ever accept this kind of exploitation. The fact that this line of work is often imaginative and fun shouldn't devalue all of the effort involved.

[Scotty A]

Three minutes of photo-realistic Flash animation (or maybe Director!) of birds, giant robots and talking animals due in a week? The promise of my name in tiny lights with no pay? SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!

I want to PUNCH HIM.

[Seantron]

That's every craig's listing I ever see.

Please do the impossible, very quickly, oh. . . and for free right now, but you might get some money on the backend.

Cue silly trombone music.

[Fooksie]

C'mon....I heard that this was the exact way that " Toy Story " was created.
I'm serial!

[ColterAvara]

They'll trying to bait people like myself who are new to the industry. YAY! I signed up!

[sky]

TT_TT
I laughed I cried.
I vomited a little.

[simpsonaaron]

i like that the there is a "possibility of pay a long way down the road." couldn't even must the hope for pay in the near-to-somewhat-immediate future.

step right up to "Bird Hatch Time Lapse - The Movie!"

[Fonce Falooda]

I think what this guy needs is a priest who knows Maya.

Maya is better for the photorealistic stuff, and priests don't get paid AND can work miracles. Or is that just saints?

[simpsonaaron]

Mayan Priest?

[Fonce Falooda]

Sweet! Get that guy a Wacom and clear his schedule!

(Nice design, Aaron!)

[seezenimation]

Hey guys, I'm opening a restaurant and I need a dishwasher like YESTERDAY! I can't pay you, but if this restaurant thing works out for me, there'll plenty of dishes for you to wash in the future!

[simpsonaaron]

ahahaha! that's perfect. (and the mayan guy isn't my design - stole it from google images).

[seezenimation]

You know what? Screw y'all and yer dang high fallutin attitudes. I'M gonna do, for FREE, by FRIDAY, and I'M gonna be FAMOUS plus, I can totally put it on my resumé. So NYAAAH.